What is the C.L.E.A.R. Method?

C.L.E.A.R. is a mnemonic acronym.

Mnemonic acronyms (nɪ’mɒnɪk – akrənɪm) are pronounceable phrases or words where each letter represents an item that has to be remembered in the order given by the phrase

C.L.E.A.R. is the method I coach parents to follow in challenging times and practice in easier times.

Connect You ask yourself, “Are we both calm and connected?” This results in both parties being able to say, “I see you. I hear you.” or “I feel seen. I feel heard.”

Limit You ask yourself, “Is there a defined limit and boundary?” This results in you saying, “I respect you,” and the child feeling respected.

Empower By you providing choices allows you to ask, “What is the choice or decision made?” This results in you saying, “You are capable of making a decision.” The child feels empowered to make a decision.

Accountable Once a decision has been made, now we ask,
“How can I follow through?” This results in us saying, “Mistakes are opportunities to learn.” This gives the child the power to learn from their choices without shame or punishment.

Recovery Once the situation has passed, look back and ask, “How am I going to reconnect or repair?” Results in use communication that we want to, and it is normal to repair, reconnect, reassess and try again.