When it comes to positive parenting, consistency is key, but how can you stay consistent in the day-to-day? Because it’s hard.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why Consistency Matters in Positive Parenting
As a parent coach, I teach Positive Parenting tools and methods to my clients. I do this so that they can begin practicing them consistently in their day-to-day interactions with their children. I believe that quality caregiving is intentional and not instinctual, and having a balanced toolbox will help you become a qualified caregiver.
3 Key Tips for Staying Consistent
#1 Build child-led routines with visuals
The way that I teach routines is more like rhythms, less like schedules. It is the pattern of events that continue happening day after day after day.
Everyone has routines; the question is, is that routine helpful or hurtful?
So think about it. Let’s take leaving for school in the morning and getting your shoes on.
What’s that like? What are the steps involved? Is the child leading it, or are you leading it? What tools and methods are you employing during that moment?
If you’re using more traditional methods, you are reminding, repeating yourself, making demands, maybe even using threats or threatening screen time later on.
All of those methods are ineffective and build pressure only to do it day after day after day.
Instead, building a child-led routine with visuals helps keep everyone on the same page and allows for a neutral third party, the routine chart, to help guide and facilitate that transition. It’s a tool that helps everyone stay consistent.
Pro tip: Don’t buy or create a fancy routine chart; instead, use sticky notes and ask your child to name the To-Do’s, and then let them put them in the order they want. (Be ready for it not to look like you want it!)
#2 Check agreements
When I say agreements, it’s another word for rules or expectations.
Agreements help keep everybody on the same page about where food can go, what options for snacks, and when those snacks will happen.
Again, these are written down and made clear in clear language. That way, everyone is on the same page.
If Grandma comes over, the system’s the same. If a babysitter steps in, the system’s the same. No matter which parent or caregiver is around, the system is the same. This eliminates the need to just wing it and build it as it goes, and that process will help keep you consistent.
#3 Share tip 1 & 2 with someone who can provide feedback and accountability.
I act as that person for my clients. I teach them a method called the C.L.E.A.R. method, and that allows for accountability and consistency.
We have weekly check-ins where we check in on those goals, we check in on the tools that they’re using and, the progress they’re making and the places that still feel a little bit sticky.
We bring awareness to those areas, identify what tools we’re using, and what tools we want to strengthen, and then we build a plan on how to execute on that.
For some of my clients, even just checking in and sharing what they want to work on is so helpful because it releases a little bit of the pressure.
If consistency is something that you’re looking to strengthen in your parenting. In that case, I highly encourage you to get into some of my spaces of support. Classes or coaching offers the tools and the spaces of support so that you can start practicing these tools consistently.
The Power of Support in Parenting
Before working together, a lot of my clients came to me feeling overwhelmed and lost in parenting.
One of my favorite clients came to me after she broke down with her tennis partner, saying, ‘I just don’t know what to do anymore.’
She had two children, a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old, and her amazing tennis partner said, ‘I know a girl.’ Her tennis partner explained to her my five-step method of positive parenting and encourage her to joined my C.L.E.A.R. and Parents program.
She did and I coach her and taught her specific tools, and I want to share that process with you.
So, if you’ve been feeling lost and overwhelmed, hopefully, this can become your road map as well.
I believe that positive parenting is intentional work and not instinctual work, and every intentional parent has a balanced toolbox.
So, if you’ve been feeling lost and facing power struggles, uncertain how to handle mistakes, and looking for a stronger bond, then you have found the right website.
So, just like my client, I’m sure that you are ready to watch your child blossom, and sometimes, to be honest, they might feel like a mystery pack of seeds.
That’s where the C.L.E.A.R. method comes in; it is like a cheat sheet or instruction manual to help you navigate those day-to-day interactions so that you and your child can live to your fullest potential.
You can think of yourself as a Master Gardener, and your children are the plants in your care.
Some may be like cacti, others like orchids, and others like giant oak trees; every plant needs something different to thrive, and the C.L.E.A.R. method helps you figure out what your child needs so that you can adjust your approach and help them thrive as well.
How the C.L.E.A.R. Method Helps Parents Stay Consistent
Cultivate Connection
So, the first step is to help you cultivate connection; this is all about building a strong connection and emotional bond with your child.
These tools help show them that you care, that you’ll listen to them, and that you’ll show up in ways to help them feel understood; it’s the work of giving them those healthy roots in nutrient-dense soil that bond becomes the foundation of your relationship.
Set Supportive Limits
The next step is about setting supportive limits. Imagine your little one like a strong, tall sunflower reaching up for the sky; your limits become the trellis that helps support their growth. It gives them structure and guidance to help them grow confidently; it builds a plan so that everyone is on the same page.
Empower Autonomy
The third step is about empowering autonomy; just like plants need sunlight to grow, your children need space to make their own choices.
This doesn’t mean letting them run wild, but it does mean giving them room to explore their interests, their likes, and their dislikes, giving them space to make mistakes so that they can learn from them, not out of fear but out of curiosity and love; it’s like the sunshine that provides fuel for their growth.
Embrace Accountability
The fourth step is all about embracing accountability; it’s about teaching your child responsibility and consequences (embracing natural consequences)
This is about pruning away the dead branches, taking care of any weeds that pop up, and clearing the debris that will throttle that growth.
Nurture Recovery
And finally, the final step is all about nurturing recovery because things will not always go perfectly; that’s ultimately not the goal there.
There will be bumps in the road, and now, with recovery work, you can address those bumps and repair those bumps together with that care; things will bounce back into connection.
Take the Next Step
When you use the C.L.E.A.R. method, you become a gardening pro, and if you’re ready to get started, I highly encourage you to explore our parenting classes.
